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Pregnancy & In-Laws

So we're at week 15 now, and in a few more days' time we'll be seeing our little Dino on the u/s screen again :) one month crawls by so slowly and everytime we visit the gynae I just hope for a little more time to see our little one, because that beautiful image is what keeps me going whenever I feel down about the pregnancy.

Honestly, there's nothing exceptionally bad about being pregnant. I mean, I cannot stand the gassy tummy and bloatedness, but I can still cope with it, albeit barely. What I absolutely cannot cope with is having to live with others. I am thankful that I get to stay home (my parents' place) during the weekdays because I get to enjoy so much freedom and privacy which I otherwise don't get. But these days I've come to dread weekends, where it's time to return to the husband's place.

It is not that I particularly hate living with his family that much. In fact, we used to go back every weekend before we got married and I got pregnant, too. It's just that after getting pregnant, I have become extremely particular about certain issues, mainly cleanliness, hygiene, and whether I get sufficient rest because it is so important for me to get a good night's sleep these days. When I don't, I wake up feeling awful - sometimes with a headache, even - and it just spoils my whole day. But peace is something I don't really get at his place. When you have six people of two generations living in one 5-room flat, it is tough. I wake up multiple times throughout the night because the walls are so transparent that I can hear everything that's happening outside. It doesn't help that you can hear sounds of chairs dragging, people talking, noises from the TV/laptop, sometimes all through the night. I do not blame the family, of course, because they grew up this way. They were never chided for making noise in the middle of the night, and people from this family probably sleep too well to ever understand the meaning of a disruptive sleep. It is not wrong to leave the toilet in a mess after using it because, well, they have a great mother who's willing to clean up after them. But this is not how I grew up. And because of that, it is impossible for me to adapt to this lifestyle.

That aside, there are so many other things - like how, because there are six people living under one roof with only two toilets to share, I have to hold my pee in (which is TORTUROUS when you're pregnant, to say the least) when both toilets are occupied. And how you can never completely be at ease because after all, you're not in the comfort of your own home. Or how you cannot tell your mother-in-law that her perfume makes you sick (especially in the first trimester where my morning sickness was terrible).

I am so desperate for my own place right now I am gonna break down soon. Forgive me for sounding like a kid but I really, really do not wanna return there, unless I can be promised some peace - or if not, a clean toilet and a good night's rest, at the very least?

The road ahead is gonna be so.fucking.rough. I know it already.


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