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Wedding & Pregnancy

Back to blogging after a long while. Over the years I grew lazy and didn't really make the effort to maintain my personal blog anymore, but now that I'm all grown up, there are quite a few things I'd like to document, and so I thought it'd be great setting up a brand new blog where I can diary basically anything and everything for the world (or anyone interested, if any at all) to read.

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It's the 1st of February 2018 today and in 10 days, it'll be my big day -- the day of my wedding. Contrary to others' experiences, I have little to be excited about. Instead, I'm filled with fatigue, dread, anxiety and a myriad of other negative emotions. It is no joy planning for such a big event when you're constantly battling morning sickness. The physical exhaustion is real. The emotional imbalance is real. The self-hate is real, every morning when I look myself in the mirror and notice just how much weight I've put on. Sad to say, this may never be the dream wedding I've always looked forward to, and as much as I've tried to psych myself up for this, what little excitement I manage to build up all comes right out together with the horrible mess I see in the toilet bowl every morning. How do people even get used to this?

Pregnancy wise, the baby is now 8 weeks old and we got a scare last week when I discovered some spotting. Cleared that up at KKH's Urgent O&G Care Centre, where we saw our little dino, and heard its heartbeat. Next appointment with the gynae is on 23rd Feb, and I can't wait to see baby dino again. Honestly, there are times I've been so tempted to give up because it has been such a trying period for me. I haven't been coping well and there's still about a month to go before the first trimester ends. I have no idea how to get through this because everything is so new to me, and I haven't even had the time to adapt to a 180 degree lifestyle change when we were hit with this pregnancy. But seeing the little dino makes me compelled to believe that everything will be fine, and everything will be worth it eventually. I don't have much physical or emotional strength these days, but I'm holding on only for the baby. About a month to go before the first trimester ends, looking forward to seeing the light at the end of the tunnel...

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