How time flies - it's been more than a month since I last updated. I'm halfway through my 28th week now, fast approaching the 29th week. I've put on about 17 damned kilos so far and I hate how round I look right now. I look and feel outright disgusting, to put it simply. It's hard to explain to the husband because he insists I'm fine when I know I'm not. There are billions of pregnant women out there and most of them are not even half my size. Quitting smoking as soon as I knew I was pregnant caused this, I'm pretty sure, and I have no idea how I'm gonna lose this weight after the baby is born. As a result, I am hesitant to go out and meet people these days, apart from the friends whom I know won't judge me. Yet there are like a million gatherings to attend and I don't know how to tell the husband that I don't wish to go for any of them. I managed to skip all of the weddings so far, but then there are birthday celebrations, house warmings,
For the past 12 years, I had been a habitual smoker. I started off with one pack lasting me a week or sometimes more. The addiction escalated over the years and soon it became one pack to last two days; at times that wasn't even enough. I loved my mornings with cigarettes and coffee. It was the best combination for me - I could sit outside enjoying my smoke, stick after stick, for hours on end. I think this kinda took a toll on my health because I'd find myself having difficulties breathing sometimes. But it didn't matter that much to me, because smoking had become such a big part of my life. I smoked when I was enjoying and having fun, I smoked when I was stressed, I smoked when I was bored, I smoked when I was sad, I smoked when I was busy. There was every occasion to smoke everyday. And then I got pregnant. In a way, we planned for the baby. We wanted and were eager to start a family of our own. So we were elated when we found out I was pregnant. The first three mo